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Maternal revenge phenomenon: More mom phrases
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Published: January 28, 2009
I hear my mother's voice a lot. Except it's coming out of my mouth.
Yes, I'm suffering another case of Maternal Revenge Phenomena.
This time? More Maternal Phrases. We haven't visited these since 2004, but it doesn't mean they haven't been flying out of my mouth (or in denial for the past 5 years). What we didn't visit last time, were the abbreviations needed to speak this language via email (EM), text (TXT) or instant messaging (IM). And yes children, we actually know more about this stuff than you wish we knew. Kinda.
But give us a break, cuz in our own way, we really need this tiny element of "cool" to get us through another day of freeing your socks, shoes and underwear from inside your jeans before we wash them again.
So ZI!
But wait; first, I need your help.
Yes, you Too Cool Teenagers who know sooo much more than us adults.
You'll notice below some of the Maternal Phrases lack BSML (figure it out) or are currently tagged with LL (again, FIO). Think you can do better? I thought so. Fine, send me your new and replacement lingo. I'll pick the best and print them in a future column. Get writing and good luck!
Maternal Phrases and their LINGO
Wait till your father gets home. WTYFH
Where's my coffee? CAF???
Because I said so! Bci!
For the love of gawd. FLOG
What part of "no" don't you understand? DUH?
Did you not hear me the first time? R U DEF?
Don't make me use your middle name! MID!
I'm running away. IRA
I'm changing my name. WHO?
Don't make me stop this car. DoMeSTiC
If I had a nickel for every time I had to tell you (fill in the blank) I'd be rich. NICKELS
If your friends jumped off a bridge…? LEMMING?
And I mean now! MEOW!
Don't even think about it. DETH
Go to bed. G2B
Go to bed already! G2AB!
Can't you see I'm on the phone? CUSP?
Did you ever hear of knocking? NOK?
Yes I do have eyes in the back of my head. iHEAD
Where's the hamster? WTR?
Where's my wine? WMW???
Sound it out.
Look it up.
Life isn't fair.
When I was your age…. SIGH
Someday you'll understand.
Someday you'll thank me.
We'll see. NO
I said, "We'll see." Don't ask me again or the answer will be "No"! NO!
Do I look like I was born yesterday? NICETRY
It's a miracle I survived all these years without you telling me what to do.
I hope your children treat you the same way you treat me. REVENGE
Your future wife will thank me for training you to pick up your dirty underwear and put it in the hamper.
Now I know why my mother drank. CHGU
Oh my gawd, I've become my mother. BANG!
Some call it Bus Stop Mommies Lingo (BSML); some call it a curse. I call it unavoidable. So I figure, we might as well be cool about it.
Submit your new and replacement lingo to karen@karenrinehart.net
's column appears Sundays in the Independent Tribune. Read more; hear podcasts @ www.busstopmommies.com.
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